you know what they say about honesty

Best policy, indeed. Even in web copywriting:



1. Our server is taking a nap - Vi.sualize.Us
Appreciate the heads-up! I understand that your server needs to doze off and you are so considerate for letting me know.

2. Twitter is Overcapacity.
It seems Facebook is the next Multiply and Twitter is the next king of the social networking world. I would love to know what's the stats on overcapacity, how many people have to be accessing the site before it declares it's over the usual capacity?

Btw, I love seeing the Fail Whale (before the SMRT rip-off!) but it's a bit cruel to those birds lifting the whale, don't you think? It seems like the whale is enjoying itself. Fail.

3. Well, this is embarrassing. - Firefox, after failing to recover your tabs
It is my dream to start a corporate message like this, particularly that of a firm suffering from net losses. Well, this is embarrassing. Our dismal performance in 2010 - nah. Never going to happen.

4. Brace yourself from an ingenious dispatch /
The muse has struck /
Prepare to be enlightened/
(chatmate name) is hammering out a wicked comeback
-Yahoo Messenger

We could do more justice to Yahoo Messenger's poetic attempts if we say more than Hahaha! or LOL. Your muse came and the best you can say is Hahaha!? No enlightenment there. Thank you YM for these witty copy, please add more!

5. You have arrived at a location not expected by the program.

This is not really a problem; we just didn't expect to see you here. If you were directed to this page by another, or if this error persists, please contact the airline and inform them of the problem and what you did to arrive here. You may use the form on the left to start a new booking.
- Tiger Airways

We just didn't expect to see you here. I didn't expect to hear that from you, Tiger!
Well, this sounds so Hollywood: a protagonist having a blast from the past, this-is-a-small-world moment: Oh Hi! What are you doing here? I did not expect to see you here.
But kudos to Tiger Airways for being straightforward. I do not know what I have done to come across that webpage, but I'm glad I did.


6. The server understood the request, but is refusing to fulfill it. -Twitter
Okay, bratty server.


***

I hope I would encounter new straightforward copy in the net again. If ever I do, I'll make sure I update this. :D

Code-Switching

Chinglish/Singlish

N: Where is V?
L: She's not joining us for lunch. She's just going to buy food and eat in the office.
N: Oh okay, how about C?
L: She's so busy she can't join us.
N: Ta pao, too?
(after a moment of confusion, L laughed and imitated me)
L: Ta pao, too? Haha!
N: Sorry. Is it okay to combine English and Chinese?
L laughed and told me it's okay, for now, because I don't know how to converse in fluent Mandarin.

* Ta pao means take-away/take out


Singlish and Taglish

E: I watched Tayong Dalawa last night.
N: Really? How was it?
E: It's okay. The two boys have the same name right? Jay-Ar (rolling r) and wait, what's the name of the other one?
N: David.
E: Ah yes, Dave! That Audrey, Kim Chiu. She's pretty. I think we should call C Audrey and P as Jay-Ar. And we can call A Dave, even though he's not here anymore.
N: I've met Jay-Ar (without the rolling r) before. We had a shoot for a magazine. He's a bit shy.
E: Oh, he's like Kampong Chicken!
N and W: What?
E: Kampong chickens are shy. They just roam around and afraid of people, as opposed to those chickens in farms.
N and W: Ooookay.
(P, A and C are the other Filipinos in the office, A already left the company)

(after a week)
E: Hey Nelly, I wasn't able to watch Tayong Dalawa last night. I wasn't able to see Ser Ramon and Alessandra, what's her surname?
N: De Rossi.
E: Ah yes, Alessandra de Rossi.
N: So you're a fan of the show now? Haha. I think it's scheduled on Tuesdays so you can watch it later. Switch the language to Tagalog so it's better.
E: Yes, the English dubbers sound weird.
W to E: You're watching a Tagalog show now?
N: Yes, he is. He's a fan now!
W: He understands Tagalog?
N: Only a few words, I guess.
W: (turning to E) What's the first Tagalog word you've learned?
E: Bakla.
W: What does Bakla means?
N to W: Bakla is gay in English.
N to E: Did your Philipi-nese (he calls his Filipino-Chinese friends Philipi-nese) friend teach you that?
E: No, I learned it from Maritess.
N: Maritess vs the Superfriends?
E: Yes!
N: Batman, I think he is bakla.
E: And Robin, he's always riding the Batmobile.
W: What are you talking about?
And we asked A to watch Maritess vs the Superfriends.