this sums up how I feel about living abroad

But in the end, the only steps that matter
Are the ones you take all by yourself

I Want a Lion and a Pencil*

But for now I have to put up with one colleague who told me that there's no difference between using 'past' and 'passed'. I have to put up with unproductive meetings about something as basic as doing a summary of a news report. I have to put up with people who impose writing styles on me when in fact, three minutes ago, he told me that there's no hard and fast rules in writing. I have to put up with the mantra that 'you're here not to produce your portfolio, you're here to work for the client'.

Because it's like that in the real world.

I just shrug it off and channel my inner Madonna: I'm ambitious, I know what I want, if that makes me a bitch, okay. Well, no scrap that 'bitch' part.

But at the end of the day, I do believe that one of our clients would allow us to work for them while doing portfolio-worthy annual reports. I just have to do my best work possible at this company, tell people what I want, voice out my concerns even if I would not change the system by doing so, at least I have spoken up.

***

After all the bitterness of this day, there's something to smile about. Ate Joy, my landlady, told me that she saw something addressed to me at the mailbox. At first I thought it was just one of the normal bank statements and debit card flyers that come every month. She got it and dropped it on my bed, magazine ata, she said. But it was a bit bigger. I do not subscribe to any mags so I thought it was just one of those fashion catalogues.

But no.

The package was a sticker book from the Miami Ad School. Exactly the type of inspiration I needed at the moment! Someday, I know, I'll study there, too. For now, a sticker book from the School of Pop Culture Engineering will do.



*Cannes Lion and One Show Pencil

Looking for Brownie and Mr Soccer Player

I want to come up with a decent blog entry these days, but all I have are thoughts on random things sitting in the drafts section of the dashboard. I told myself this one shouldn't add up to that pile of unpublished posts so I made sure I hit the Publish button after ending the last sentence.

I initially wanted to write about why last Monday wasn't a panic-stricken one because Bossy Boss was not around. Then I thought of finishing my review of Options, that laugh-out-loud book by Daniel Lyons about the life of Fake Steve Jobs. After these two, I wanted to blog about why I hate the word corporate but I do not want to talk about the semi-crappy state of copywriting I am doing lately, so I scrapped that.

I hate to write about dream sequences, but maybe Steve Almond* was right: we should be writing about things we could not get rid of by any means. I want to get this out of my mind, so here it goes.

I woke up this morning puzzled at seeing that guy in my dream. Eww, this is just soooooo cheesy! I dreamed that I was in this classroom with football players. I do not know what I was doing there because I do not know anyone in the room and I could not recognise the place. Then there's this guy standing beside me: a bespectacled football player, taller than me by two inches. Then someone asked that guy if I'm his girlfriend, he said yes and my alarm clock signaled 7.40am. Ewww, this merits a 5 in Creative Writing class! Fail!

I would like to believe that this dream with football players was partly induced by the World Cup hype here in Singapura. I don't know who that guy was/is or if there exists such a guy who looks like him. Since in my dream, I was seated beside that guy, I could only remember his face's side profile. And no, he does not look like Murakami Guy.

Enough of my dreams. Let's just jump to the latter part of the day.

I walked from the MRT station, passed by the hawker centre and the area at Spottiswoode Park where the big trees are. Yes, those gigantic trees (with squirrels!)surrounding my so-called 'picnic areas' that could be a perfect setting for a horror movie when night falls on a rainy day. I saw an old couple at the foot of one of those gigantic trees calling for Brownie. Must be their dog. Auntie** was holding two Fairprice grocery bags while Uncle** pointed the flashlight at the direction of the picnic areas. Brownie? Auntie called three times. After two minutes or so, they left Spottiswoode Park Rd and headed to Everton Park.

Brownie did not show up. Just like that bespectacled football player, in my real world.



*author of This Won't Take But A Minute Honey. Thanks to a friend for buying this book for me :D
**in Singapore, people older than you are called Auntie or Uncle as a sign of respect

Just like that, it's been a year

Armed with the in-principle approval letter from the Ministry of Manpower, employment contract, wanderlust dreams and heaps of courage to fight off homesickness, I stepped off the plane and began my life here in Singapura on June 18, 2009. A year has passed since.

This should be a nostalgic post. But because I still haven't recovered from the euphoria that is NBA Finals Game 7, I decided not to ruin the happy vibes. Here's to more days at the Lion City! *clangs of imaginary mugs of Tiger Beer*

As I celebrate my one year (and counting) stay in Singapore, it's also my dear UP's birthday. Cheers to your 102 years of excellence! *sings UP Ang Galing Mo!*

Hit the Send Button

The cursor wouldn't hover around it anymore. The mails in the Drafts folder decreased by two. Now, I will do what I did one year and two months back: wait, keep my fingers crossed and hope that my messages would not get lost in cyberspace.

Because today, I did not sit here, simply stare at my screen and ask myself what's still lacking in my resume. Today, I finally combined those PDFs, dig my sample articles and hit the Send Button. I did. I already did. After two weeks, I finally did.

Enough of my excuses. As JM and I would always say, Keep the Ahensya Dream Alive
(ahensya = big time ad agencies). Well, keep the dream alive for me, because JM is already Living the Ahensya Life.

Sun-Kissed Soccer Field and the GCs*

Dear Singapore,


I'm back. Yeah, I have to admit, I missed you a bit. To borrow Sidda Walker's line in The Divine Secrets of the Ya-ya Sisterhood (though she was referring to Manhattan, not you), I missed your "screeching urban comfort"(Wells, 1996). Okay, sorry. I'm starting to sound like I hate you and do not want to be with you, but the truth is, I appreciated the fact that you welcomed me here almost a year ago (354 days ago to be exact) and gave me a job that my dear Manila could not give me this time last year.

Last night, when I landed at Changi, I hailed a cab and while I was comfortably seated at the back of the driver staring at the midnight lights outside, Jimmy Harnen's Where Are You Now? started playing on the radio. It's as if I were in a movie and it is the part where the flashback happens and the musical scorer has done his/her job well. But I would rather have Billy Joel's Vienna in the background. Slow down, you crazy child. You're so ambitious for a juvenile.If you're so smart tell me why are you still so afraid...

I had a wonderful week in the Philippines, thank you for asking. I stayed home in Batangas, ate nilagang baboy, halayang ube, tapsilog and all other well-loved home-cooked meals. We watched the NBA Finals, Glee final episode, reruns of The Dark Knight at HBO and Up at Disney Channel. Played Crazy Taxi and Feeding Frenzy with Marga, my five-year-old niece, and watched HSM 3 and Lilo and Stitch. Played with EJ, my two-year-old niece, with her fave stuffed toys Minnie Mouse, Pongo and Perdita (from 101 Dalmatians). Had my much-needed chats with my mom, my dad, my sisters, my brother, my grandma, my first sister's kids. I missed home!

Last Tuesday, I made some pretty big statements while talking to my friends: I won't apply for PR status unless I would really want to be with you, Singapore, in the long-term. I still have plans of working in ad agencies in any big city in Europe or in the US, in Shanghai and Makati City and I cannot assure that I would be here for good. I like it here with you, but as any OFW would say, alam kong balang araw uuwi ako at doon ako tatanda sa Pilipinas. Unless! Unless I meet Prince Charming / Knight in Shining Armour (excuse me for the Disney Princess illusions) / True Murakami Guy here in the Lion City. That might change everything.

I'm back and I would stay here 'til my work contract ends in January 2011. Let's see what happens then.

Oh yes, regarding this letter's header, I was with Flau, Doreen, Reuben and Thedd last week at the soccer field behind the Bahay ng Alumni Building, we watched the sun set while talking about our supreme bibo kid moments in Geography class during our last semester in the university. I missed Geography lessons. And yes, I missed you Flau and the once *Grade Conscious (GC) gang. I hope I could have those sunset-watching-while-eating-chicharon-then-dinner-discussing-travel-plans-moments here with you.




Cheers,

Nelly
writing at the 5th floor of an HDB flat
hearing and feeling your 'screeching urban comfort'

Let's pretend it's a note atop a center table

Dear Singapore,

I'll be leaving for Manila tomorrow, but of course I'm coming back. I'll miss your chicken rice, but truth be told, I would forever love tinola. You made my life easier through all the bus trips and MRT rides but long bus rides at traffic-laden EDSA and SLEX have their own charm, and I miss them. Oh and I miss the jeep rides, too! You see lah, after months of corporate humdrum, I need my dose of Filipino life. Of using Philippine peso instead of your ubershiny-versatile-inside-the-washing-machine Singdollar. Yes, I left one 2-dollar bill inside the washing machine once, and did not get crumpled. Cool.

And speaking of cool, that Jabulani World Cup ball's design is cool, right? Yeah, I know you are so excited about the World Cup, but Manila is gearing up for the NBA Finals, yes, I'm just reinforcing that we have different views. Yes, different views, for instance, you complain about lots of foreigners invading your land, but please be reminded that foreigners, talents and workers alike, would not be with you if they are given the chance to have better jobs in their own land. Yes, I'm one of those foreign talents. Thanks for the opportunities. There's no sarcasm here. I can only hope that you'll become more appreciative of those foreign workers, too. I'll just be away for a week, Singapore, I'm still not sure if I'm going to miss you.

I'll see you next week then.